Wednesday, September 05, 2007 @2:47 PM
blank stare
blank stare
blank stare
blank stare
blank stare
hahaha.k. it feels as if my head is both empty and crammed at the same time. it's an irksome and tiring feeling. it feels i've lost contact with the world. ok that sounds dramatic and attention seeking, but truthfully speaking i cant remember the last time i actually had a good conversation with anyone. study dates have been mostly meet-study-eat-study-home routines, and there hasn't been much of a chance for me to take step back and survey my surroundings.
i've grown to realise how much i depend on self reflection. maybe that's why i tend to over-react when i lose the opportunity, energy and time to do so.
it gets stifling, because words just flow out of my pen when i'm faced with work, but when i want to write something that concerns my own life, i'm stumped. it's almost as if that skill of soul-searching hasn't been used for so long that i've forgotten how to use it.
and only now, i'm starting to realise how essential that skill is. only now i'm starting to see how getting used to numbness can result in malnourishment. mental malnourishment.
howm i gonna get out of this shit. hmm.
alright. study hard.
