Saturday, August 25, 2007 @5:36 PM
we're just two days away from prelims, yet i'm here.
and that's because there's just something i have to rationalise, and i must rationalise it now or
never. (waaaaahhh drama)
anyway, it seems that the less fairness a person is treated with, the more they tend to compromise their position on controversial issues. for instance, someone who has always mantained a solid relationship with their parents will most likely (have enough maturity to) understand their parents' problems, and voice their suggestions and possible solutions. as such, they would have gotten used to being valued and treated as if they were deserving of respect, even as a child.
when faced with issues concerning unreasonability or unjust treatment by parents in general, they would go all out to debunk all arguments in favour of understanding the psyche of these parents, or giving them due tolerance, considering the tremendous amounts of stress and difficulties these parents face in life.
this is my stand. physical abuse is wrong and stupid and will not happen unless the parent is mentally unsound. but emotional abuse is unfair and unjustified, and it may be very common, because it is often invisible, and it is not easily criticised and stopped by people who can make a difference. (those outside the family unit)
i believe that subjecting one of your children to emotional pain, and refusing to explain why you're making them feel so lousy about themselves, is really being quite unfair to the child.
it's not her fault unless she knows for sure where she has gone wrong.
if she has intentionally chosen to sidestep and do something immoral and against her conscience, then it's her fault, then she should reflect and be repentful.
but if she has done something that has made a parent upset, and she has absolutely no idea what she did wrong, then the emotional hurt and guilt felt is not only unfair but also pointless.
furthermore, the parent fails to consider or even care that emotional wounds are not like physical wounds which heal and are forgotten over time. emotional wounds turn into scars.
and then, when the child delineates herself and chooses to live on a different emotional world as compared to the parent, he posits that she is strange, desensitized, and antisocial.
but really, it isn't her fault that she's numb to external ordeals.
there's a reason behind every action, right? and between humans, nothing is ever purely instinctual.
maybe she just has to indulge in more vitamin c sources.
helps to regenerate and strengthen intracellular substances.
omg why am i even talking bio?!
i dont take bio do i.
no pam you dont take bio.
you take pcme.
okay then
all the best for prelims, study hard and God bless. (:
Friday, August 24, 2007 @5:14 PM
coffeeeeeeee.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007 @5:43 PM
before the world began
you were on His mind
and every tear you cry, is precious in His eyes.
(:
we've always been asking, how is it that God can be so patient and so forgiving, despite how many times we have drifted from His side. despite how we keep asking Him for worldly success instead of spiritual growth. And despite the fact that when we're blessed, we forget to thank Him.
And when we encounter trials, He is the first who gets sulked at and blamed.
to imagine, the feeling we get is just a minute fraction of what God feels when we forget Him.
but because of His immense love, we're still so important to Him.
we're always so ready to feel sorry for ourselves when we are forgotten, but how does that compare to what God is going through because of us?
i have no right to feel sad. in fact, i have no reason.
because my whole life is planned, and the only thing i need to pray for is to live in the Lord's will. I need to pray for for guidance and strength, because i believe that i have a purpose in your life, and it isn't yet fulfilled.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007 @10:12 PM
it
IS HNO3 + 2H2SO4 -> 2HSO4- + NO2+ +
H3O+!!!
the hydroxonium ion will be so insulted that all sajc students have never known of the existence of one of his hydrogen atoms. so now you better know.
alan told me not to be so stressed, and i was like noooo where got i'm just a little short tempered i dono why, and he said "precisely; you're irritable cos you're stressed."
and then i felt very guilty.
alright, mug time.
<3
Friday, August 17, 2007 @6:50 PM
haha
somebody in the family needs guidance with anger management.
anw.
when everything about you is criticised, and when you're treated like a wall,
when they come back and all they want to do is to kill something. or each other.
at some point in time you have to understand, you're better off living on a different emotional world than with the people that cruelly decided to let you exist.
i'm haunted by premonitions that i'll screw up, that i wont find what i need in time, or that i've been working towards the wrong goals.
psychoanalyst mrs kyl said she sensed the shift of a paradigm in my mind.
a decisive force.
i thought, so what, what good is setting your mind on something if you dont know how to use it to redirect yourself to some other pursuit that is more worthwhile?
and how would you know if that pursuit is worthwhile if you wont take others' words for it?
who can you trust? whose rationale can you believe in;
what new hope will you choose to place your faith in, and how do you know your hopes wont just be crushed yet again, like it has so many times before?
wish i'd done so many things differently.
but of course what's the point in regretting now blabla
i should make the most of the situation i'm in now blabla.
blaaaa~
understanding has a way of biting back at you, confusing your own ideals and making you compromise your own principles.
and then i think, what's the point trying?
it's hard, and you rarely succeed.
amidst all this superficiality
i see no reason for my existence.
Thursday, August 16, 2007 @7:15 PM
#$@%$#%
maybe o'levels was purely a fluke. grades wrongly keyed in or something.
why else would my language grade drop from A to S in 2 years?!
what's the bloody point, in working hard to secure content subject grades when the core subject is graded an S. S. that's an O level pass. an O level E8. for gp.
WTF. what would that reflect? that i'm an incoherent spaced out individualistic girl wrapped up in her own little world of physics chem maths and econs. a girl with no regard for general issues going on around her. a useless memory card with no heart, no emotion, and no conscience.
and i came home, and ate a huge heap of choco mint ice cream.
and now i feel so much better. (:
Tuesday, August 07, 2007 @9:24 PM
the stomach nonsense is back! AHH. i went to school this morning, and after all the tutorials mr fong gave me a green slip and dad came and we went to the doctor's. yep. exciting day.
pheara went back to cambodia today to visit her dad who's heart failed.. thank goodness national day hols are here, so it wont be too difficult for her to catch up.
my ex neighbour's dad passed away yesterday. life's fragile isn't it. guess after a while we realise that it is definitely possible to keep our chins up for the remainder of the short time we have on earth.
life's fragile, and it'll be over before we're ready to leave. :)
Sunday, August 05, 2007 @9:54 PM
I've been writing the date wrong on all my work for the past 6 days. Stuck in the month that just passed. haha. And, I'm immensely proud of myself for using up one whole ball point pen in the span of less than a month. ONE WHOLE PEN okay. that's a lot of writing.
I think ugly betty is a cool show.
I miss weiling, cos she's in malaysia for the weekend.
(i wonder if she remembered my chewing gum.)
I still miss the best friend, though I concede that I'm nothing like a best friend to him.
haha. then again, I haven't been much of a friend to anyone of late, if you're talking about mutual support. but that's not an issue cos i'd probably be more of a mess than i already am if mutual support still existed in my life.
I need sleep but there's so much work.
and my medicine cant be taken together with sedatives.
AAAAAAAAAH.
Friday, August 03, 2007 @9:50 PM
Physics Paper 2 today was pretty cool. I was doing the assignment on nuclear physics before the paper, and 4 pages of nuclear physics came out. Fun ah, didn't seem like much of an exam. it felt like i was doing homework. I wonder if that's how sitting for A levels is supposed to feel like. I doubt so. but it'd be cool wouldn't it. I could do assignments forever, but i'm growing to hate exam conditions. so stifling. then there's always that particular stupid invigilator that loves to stand behind you and breathe down your neck.
yep.
byebye.
