I realised that I've been crawling up to my mother in the middle of the night, every night, for the past two weeks. Sometimes i was bothered by maniacal screams of some restless soul residing in the next block. Sometimes dogs were howling incessantly.. Today, it was because a hyperactive moth flew in and planted himself on my complex numbers notes after fluttering all around my face. And I worried that it would try to share my pillow when I turned off the lights. Insomnia driven by relentless disturbances from the surroundings..? eh.
Soon, we can stop thinking abt grades and start appreciating the process of experience. I've wasted too much time on the former, that I've almost forgotten how it makes people pit themselves against their interests. Hoping that soon, I wont try to seek explanations for every new system encountered.
Perhaps then I'll sleep better.
'cause maybe there's another plan One I still can't see A little surprise, like your love in my life Funny how time changes how we see
Thursday, June 28, 2007 @11:22 PM
so fun, tomorrow no papers. but next week, 3 more papers await. Ahhhh, pure torture.
passion and silence, every word, every line, a measure, its the science of the soul, and his books, they breathe a reason and now i want to know.
Sorely missed but fondly remembered by all loved ones.
Finally, the little saint can put on his halo and live up to his name-
The Angelfish. :D
okkk serious.
Sharkbait was.. a good fish. Although he was only a baby when he passed away, he already had an impeccable strength of character. He was not one to be discouraged easily; and to the very last hour, he pushed himself to his utmost limits in hope of regaining balance again.
The mere sight of the lovable and adorable fish chewing on the filter could melt a heart.
Sharkbait was one of a kind. We pray that he rests in peace.
on a lighter note, watch this.
Monday, June 11, 2007 @2:26 PM
Give me eyes to see the future, Though it's hidden from my view; Give me compassion As I'm moulding a treasure for You.
I'm moulding a masterpiece, a work of great beauty I'm moulding a masterpiece, my labour's not done A trophy, a treasure of worth beyond measure
I'm moulding a masterpiece, A masterpiece of love.
it's kinda sad watching little sharkbait struggling hard to stand up. everytime he falls back down, i'm can almost imagine him going "oh no no no not again AHHH." and i feel defeated too. but then he bursts with a sudden bout of energy and flaps himself upright again. u know everytime he falls, he gets back up. he never seems to get tired of trying. and i look on, so proud of his resilience.
if a fish can do it, so can you.
Sunday, June 10, 2007 @8:48 PM
i dont know what i was doing, looking through memories that have always left me feeling numb.
anyway, sick fish has a name. sharkbait! haha. since it looks exactly like the angelfish in finding nemo. it's being cranky again. swimming upside down and everything. i didn't know fishes had tantrums too.
@6:51 PM
i made an astounding discovery today. la forza, performed at the esplanade last year by st pats. listen!!
at the last part i couldn't help but LOL. had this mental picture of them falling dead at the finish line. but really, listen. it's damn nice.
Saturday, June 09, 2007 @7:32 PM
went back for chem mock test yesterday, and a few of us popped by the classroom to check on the fishes. poor things. they were overfed and grumpy. and they were looking at us like we were coming to kill them. whoever's responsible for the torture of the fishes residing in c-305, may you fall into a hole in the ground and be lost forever.
there was food scattered all over the bottom of the tank, in various stages of decomposition. and one poor fish was so sick it couldn't even keep itself upright. after quickly assessing the situation, we did an emergency fish evacuation and cleared the whole tank of all the nonsense.
sick fish came home with me. yesterday it wouldn't eat anything despite incessant coaxing. and it was like, lying on it's side swimming around in circles. such a stupid fish, so thin already still dont want to eat. was damn worried. then i had a brainwave :D
i fed it LIQUID FOOD. hahaha. so it had no choice but to consume the food if it wanted to breathe. genius la pam. so now it swims in a bowl, and meals are administered in a seperate container. the fish is being nice about having to transfer from bowl to container to bowl to... etc. it actually swims to my hand for me to carry it. so yea.. good fish.
i gave it a bit of physiotherapy today. HAHA. you know what, i think my therapy worked. cos now instead of rotating in pathetic circles on its side, the fish actually stands on its fins and wobbles around the bottom of the bowl in an upright position. woah. i make such a fantastic vet right. :)
k i'm off. have fun.
Thursday, June 07, 2007 @2:04 PM
i think the people upstairs are drilling out every single bloody tile, wall and additional fitting in their house. the drills have been in symphony since the wee wee hours of the morning and it's a little impossible to study with your whole face going rubbery because of that infernal sound..
went on journey across the highway yesterday. cycling with alec, xiuli and brother. we stopped at the first jetty that was packed with fishermen catching small flat unedible fishes. brother said maybe one whole family of fishes were out having a little holiday swim and now their whole family name ceases to exist. we saw this little boy who kept falling off his scooter on purpose. for fun. kids are so strange nowadays.
heard the clarinet choir was gonna try italian in algeris. hahah. it rocks. download here.
the background music.. was played by just one person. pretty cool right. (:
Wednesday, June 06, 2007 @10:09 PM
do any of you know exactly what course you want to pursue in university? as in, know that you definitely want to take that particular course, apply for a particular scholarship that can secure you a job in a predefined company through the bond that comes with the scholarship. do any of you already know exactly what you want to do when you grow up?!
because i dont know. i really dont know leh. and my parents keep asking everyday. until i've become so agitated that i now have half the mind to finish all my medicine at one go. ok ok just kidding.
i've narrowed down my choices, but they're so vastly different from each other that i'm beginning to suspect i dont really want to do any of them. haha.
having to decide between so many fields of study's such a pain, i swear. ever since we were young, my parents always told us to study hard and do well, to keep our choices open. and now that our choices are open i dont know what to do.
Monday, June 04, 2007 @7:23 PM
amanda: so fierce on sunday. fried: hole in the lung still say me.. jiahao: YUP. i'd feel better if there were more cold front collisions here. haha. sean: FAT AH. dorothy: i hope things are getting better for you.. ecclestiastes chp 3 might help (: nicole: meiji's dark chocolate range is a bit.. erm. i'll let you try something else next time k see if you like. timothy: so hard one!? i need to hire a pi first. haha. mishhhh: OK AHHH. ahahhhaha. how is your cockroach? brenna: cos.. the people in the walls will follow you around. syarah: hey of course i will! take care too.
ALL: thanks for all your concern! (:
- i waited 2 hours to see the doctor today. haha. but it wasn't that boring cos the strangers there were quite friendly. there was this 1 week old baby with jaundice and after exchanging a few smiles my mom told the mother every detail of my jaundice experience as a baby. :S anw the baby was so friendly. it was trying to talk. but we were talking halfway and it just fell asleep.
some woman from changi hospital called, i'm supposed to go there tomorrow at 10am. but tomorrow there's chemistry from 9-11 and physics 11-1 argh i dont want to miss mass hinting sessions! haiaaa. pam you idiot stop complaining just study yourself. ok? ok.
(disclaimer: the section below is fictionary. any resemblence to any person(s) dead or alive is purely coincidential)
sang nila utama newspapers, forum section. there was this guy with 4As and 2 S paper distinctions, with a b4 for gp who didn't manage to get into NUSO pharmacy. it's unbelievable. my (imaginary) brother didn't beat him at anything except gp, and SAFO gave him a scholarship into engineering. it's only been 2 years, and now you cant even get a bloody place in pharmacy with mad results.
today's newspapers. today. (really.) pay hike in the civil service: similarity- happening in both sang nila land and malaiseeya. same percentage range somemore. difference- in m'seeya, the lowest paying jobs get the highest percentage pay hike (up to 33%), and the ministers get single digit % pay raise. in sang nila, it's the other way around. the ministers get super a lot and lower paying jobs get almost nothing. and if anybody complains, some elitist will murder you.
HAHA.
Saturday, June 02, 2007 @9:16 AM
when that really happens, it's actually more scary than a ghostly encounter. last night i finally developed a gastric ulcer. haha. okk i know i should have been more strict with eating on time you told me so and bla bla bla bla bla bla bla but SORRY. from now on i will. haha. i was scolded so damn much over the past 5 hours.
after 1 hour of trying home remedies, another hour of mom's small talk of how i never listen to her about eating well, the third hour rushing halfway to east shore but detouring to a 24 hour clinic instead because of the traffic lights and potential waiting time, and 2 hours of disrupted sleep.. i'm actually feeling much better. ahhahahahhahha.
the feeling i got from staring at so much dead blood was. i dont know.. bittersweet. haha. on one hand i was relieved that all that nonsense was out of my body, and on the other i couldn't believe that i was that sick. and all the time my mom was behind "see, i told you. drink more water come on. flush your stomach." eee. people flush toilet bowl u want me to flush my stomach?! so nice.
i'm really regretful now for not paying more attention to the gastric attacks. for always coming up with stupid excuses for skipping meals. the seriousness of this gastric thing only dawned on me last night. stomach ulcer doesn't increase the risk of stomach cancer, but prolonged inflammation can lead to precancerous changes in the stomach lining. in sec4, my classmate's mom died of stomach cancer. we were looking at her mom's waxy face through the glass of her coffin, and her mom still looked so young. :(
anw if you're having the same problem, pls dont wait till your stomach grows a hole before you start eating properly.
AND i hope you're not too shocked/worried about this. will cure one dont worry. good medication. by the way. 24 hr clinics rip off i tell you. last night's bill was $81 and the doc barely said 4 sentences. and the last was "go to the hospital if ur pain persists." i also can be doctor la like that. refer all my patients to the hospital. so fun.
noise
be still my soul
God knows your way; and He will guide,
for His name's sake plunge in the rivers
of His grace, rest in the arms
of His embrace.
when incoherence sets in
