cca orientation today. it went pretty well i guess, i think most of the audience have insurance to fall back on after being blasted stuck to the backrests of their seats, and i only played about 11 wrong notes out of 10.
haha. yeah. band bad hair day today.
but i guess the more we worry about what's been done the less time and energy we have to fully utilise the time left. and there's already so little to go around.
so on that note, pam says byebye.
all the best for all events this semester, study hard and see you next term (:
Tuesday, March 27, 2007 @10:16 PM
Wednesday, March 21, 2007 @8:59 PM
fart is converted into a combustible mixture of gases by reaction with steam in the presence of a heated nicky catalyst. CH4(g) + H2O(g) <-> CO(g) + 3H2(g) suggest why the total bond energy in the CO molecule is higher than the bond energies found in the data booklet? - we've come to the last pupper. yay.
i kinda miss the person i was back in cgssb. i miss how it used to be, how we acted and sounded nothing like girls cos we never had to. i miss the reasons i had for giving so much to them. the words i used to say, the way i used to say them, and the way we inspired each other. And now, it's just so different. It's a band of many talents but no heart, no warmth. We fit together, but that's all we do. And since i'm not what i once was, i'll quietly do what i can, with those who care.
Hmmmm. Okay la. There's already enough sai to go around without my additions.
I know things will be different after block tests. Maybe we'll be more important to each other. Maybe I just shouldn't be talking about this. - kenneth sent a message in the middle of the week that helped the week pass easier. was suddenly reminded about what deb said about how little things go a long way.
ok. physics.
it's a long, long journey, so stay by my side when we walk thru' storms, Lord, be our guide.
Friday, March 16, 2007 @2:43 PM
It's been quite an irksome morning. Some worked solutions were so concise that it harder to decipher them than the questions themselves.. So, I'm having a break. (:
I guess, pregnancy really is a beautiful thing. I mean, yea adoption is noble etc, but just the thought of being depended on for survival.. having even just your emotions directly affect the growth of a small life in you. having that small kidthing to love and protect and being it's only true line of defense is just.. overwhelming. In a good sense.
haha. I think experiencing the first trimester alone is enough to convince me to enter a marriage that may possibly end up with me being subservient and unimportant.
Might seem as quite a pessimistic way of putting it, but maybe it isn't at all that bad when you understand what i'm trying to say. Ok so here's what i'm trying to say. And it's based mostly on it being God's plan all along that the role of women in a family was to care and provide for the kids unconditionally. This traditional role of women shouldn't be considered diluted by changing times just because of all the retarded interpretations of gender equality.
To me, gender equality is a sensible pursuit only in the corporate world, and not at home. Cos mothers were catered for motherly responbilities, motherly solicitude, motherly blahblahblahs. Girls can get capable and resourceful and seem garang and unafraid to make themselves heard. But deep down, we all started out soft. And there will always be that soft side to us, and it'll show up sometime. It's an instinctual thing, and it's not something that goes away after you dont use it for a while.
Being a mom's a huge emotional investment, and it's challenging and nervewrecking, but it's anything but sad. Because together with all the difficulties, there's that satisfaction and pride. Momming rocks, dont you think? (:
Someone that means a lot to me is in her first trimester now. I've been thinking quite a lot about this first trimester thing. About how the smaller the baby is, the more sensitive it is to things happening all around the mom. Especially emotions. And we all know that moms under a lot of stress are very likely to miscarry. And some theorize that faced with so much stress and emotional turbulence, some fetuses may choose to die rather than inflict further stress and pain on their mothers or themselves. It's so heartwarming, don't you think? And i hope that perception alone will convince someone to take good care of herself and not stress so much. (:
dear ___ I know, as a _____, stress and frustrations come everyday from everywhere, mostly from one big person HAHA. But i guess if there was an better way of taking care of both ___, ___ and ur baby, you would. Still hor ___ .. you once told me that ___ comes before ___ for you, and it will always be the case cos you're a ____. But it's hard for us, cos taking examples from past events, you know that you come much before ____ to us. And your presence have blessed us a lot, so it's natural that we want to see you well taken care of, and taking care of yourself well. It's not so bad, you only have to eat like a grandma for 3 months. haha.
okay enough thinking so far for one day. study hard, kids.
Thursday, March 08, 2007 @8:25 PM
cant keep that picture there man everytime i see it i bleh. hahaha.
immediately after every holiday, it's the block tests/common tests/promos/prelims. cant believe it's been that way since before we were born, and nobody complained enough for a change to be considered. sure, it's an ideal opportunity to go into supermugger mode but aiyo no chance to rest in piece or recuperate. it's like taking one big long breath at the beginning of band prac and not being allowed to replenish for the entire day. it's just so.. gay.
something's wrong with our batch it's as if we dont even find it important to give each other time in our lives anymore. because of studies, because of fatigue. it's kinda sad. that some of us have unknowingly become quite selfish. at the end of the year, i wouldn't want to leave with a decent looking a level cert and the regret that i hadn't been a blessing in any of your lives. then again, you guys probably have more pressing issues to consider over each other. yup. things like studies and dealing with fatigue.
vectors test came back today. at first i thought it was mean of her to minus so many million half marks cos i didn't name the lines properly. cos i did get the answers. but then after thinking more. i was reminded that the journey's always more important than the destination. even in math? art kids think we lack creativity, cos we always arrive at the same conclusions. but more often than not, we use different routes.
hmm. new string of argument to present to mok. all the best for bts. (:
Friday, March 02, 2007 @9:48 PM
There's always something overwhelming about the sky above our college. The cloud patterns are always so picturesque, it's colours are always radiant.. Always a tranquil experience, sitting at the gallery. Still remember once after pe, nicole pow and me were staring intently at the rain, wondering how it was possible that rain could feel so warm and reassuring. and what made us like the sight so much. Hmm, maybe partly cos pe was cancelled cos of the rain. But i'm sure there was something else about the aura that sajc sits in, under our sajcian sky. HAHA.. so drama lah pls.
Today, the canteen commitee handed out 5 surveys each to every class. And my class, unsurprisingly, went a bit crazy over the open ended response part. Okay. a little more than just a bit. Our response to "what can the canteen do to improve" was more than 2 pages long. Complete with graphs demonstrating economic analysis and labelled diagrams. Class rocks.
Mr Fong's deprives me of stars. I swear the last practical was near perfect and all he wrote was a good. Save ink ah. Star a bit make me happy also cannot. The longsuffering physics rep feels damn exploited. She's gonna go on strike soon. On the flipside, My GP tutor's starting to be nice. It scares me. Self explanatory. haha.
Band's been. well. progressing slowly. But my juniors have really been putting in a lot of effort to improve their technique and tone. It's sad sometimes, seeing them get so worked up over their funny tones and trying all sorts of ways to change it. Long tones are boring, but it's good to see that some of them want to go through all that just so that they wont let their friends down. In most ways, the j1s reflect more of the band culture than the j2s themselves. Still, i refuse to believe that not everyone in my batch cares for the band more than they do themselves. In a few weeks, we'll play our last piece together. And from that moment, I wont be filled with so much worry anymore.
Finally, we're having our royal dinner tomorrow. haha. It's been so long since we last really sat down and talked. I'm glad that whatever happens tomorrow, the day will be made happy again in the evening. Amanda, i found this photo of you me and joyce sharing a crib. I stole your rattle. HAHA.
till next time.
Thursday, March 01, 2007 @12:07 PM
This year is gonna be short, and i'm hoping that at the end I can look back and honestly say that i loved my last two years as a school kid. The only reason i studied so hard in upper sec was because i didn't want to do worse than my brother, who at that time had just gotten back his o'level results. He did trash me at the end by two points, but it didn't matter at the end cos i knew i did the best i could, and also learnt a lot along the way. not just academically. My upper sec years passed with few missteps.
But the past year didn't. We'll be stepping down in about 5 months, and i'm not sure if i'll have done the best i can when that time comes. I hope that I'll leave the school with footprints on cement, not just on sand. And I hope i'd have given my juniors my best, and made friendships that will last for a long time.
If i had my life to live over, i wouldn't have insisted on coming to sajc.
HMM!
PE on monday and tuesday had me aching till now. Tuesday night was so painful that i applied the deep heat spray all over my body before sleeping, and i went to lie down. Then only it started to feel hot. Wth burn also got lagtime, i thought the spray not working so i put so much. No wonder it's called deep heat.. cos they make everybody spray three layers of menthol all over the body.
Weiling looked quite sad yesterday. She felt that the class didn't appreciate mr fong enough. He's one of the best I've seen. Most caring, most understanding, most.. not law abiding. And his lessons are all damn funny. I hope that he doesn't lose his spark because his students always take advantage of him. I dont think we do.. but it's easy for others to.
And rachel, I'm sorry for yesterday. It was quite funny though, that joel self declared that i was mad at him. I swear that boy thinks that everyone hates him sometimes. I hope if he's reading this he'll know that we dont. Sorry for looking so fierce during sectionals. The 30 bar rest was really getting to me. And you know la, everything else. from the one on the right side to the one on the left side. Put aside your books one day and lets have a proper roomie dinner together okay? i <3 you a lot! see i put your name in purple somemore.
hmm. block tests in 17 days. this one i'm gonna put in my all.
noise
be still my soul
God knows your way; and He will guide,
for His name's sake plunge in the rivers
of His grace, rest in the arms
of His embrace.
