Thursday, November 30, 2006 @10:16 AM
Pam will attempt to use proper punctuation in her posts from this day forward.Mother goose is finally back in Singapore, along with ate berlyn. It's only been a little more than a week, but somehow it feels so much longer. Unwillingly handed the kitchen back to them today. ):
I have to admit, taking charge of all the housework was quite an inspiring experience.
I thought I understood what my mom was going through. Now I finally know how little i knew.
Getting up early to prepare breakfast/ turn on the heater all that. Then getting the family to wake up so they wont be late for their things. Getting glared at for waking them up too early/too late.
Mummy i kowtow to you man.
The fun part comes when we're all alone, quietly scrubbing the wash or even just sitting and listening to the washing machine spin the clothes.. and oh man, ironing. The water swishing around in the iron, and the steam washing over your face. Express facial. Putting things lying around to their proper places.
It makes you feel so at peace, so in control. It gives you time to take your mind off everything else, you know, just focus on getting the crease to disappear, or waiting for the stew to produce its first bubble.
It's really very good, very meditative. And I dont think I'll want anyone else to help me do housework when I grow up and stay away from home.
I used to find it lame everytime my mom asked me to make her something nice to drink, ask her about her day, turn on the tv for her. Sometimes it seemed more convenient for her to do all these small things herself, or for us to talk about things another time when I had nothing to do. Now, after going through a little of what she's always been going through for a while, I feel bad that she even had to ask for me to do all these small things for her.
Then, what she asked for seemed too much. The way she reacted to things seemed too bombastic. But it was only because people like me didn't show her enough appreciation. That's why she felt so angsty. ):
Sometimes it's just so nice to have someone else take notice of your small, almost insignificant needs. Cos then you feel important, at least to that person. I guess the smallest gestures hold the most strengthening power. hahaha. Did something for my junior and gave it to her on musical evening. She's one of those small gesture people in my life. I think she has always been that way, since i met her back when she was in p5? Quite sad that i'm only starting to appreciate her now. Just lucky i didn't drain her out with my insensitivity all this while.
I was so happy today, when i woke up to find that somebody made breakfast for me. And prepared my toothbrush. XD So happy so happy I tell you, I was grinning so widely over my mug like as if it just fed me 1000 christmas candies. All through the past week, I had always been the one making breakfast for the two guys before they left for work, then getting too busy with the morning chores that I couldn't be bothered to do anything for myself. It's times like these when small things people do really start to mean so damn much. When Rachel fed me lunch the other day before we left for st pats, it really cheered me up. Like as in, really. haha.
And it's not all about food.
Emme helped me get my shoes off the shoe rack while i was closing the band room door, and really i was quite touched. HAHA. you'd think i'm deprived of concern or something. But no lah, i'm just giving thanks that God gave me such good friends.
Just yesterday, I thought, I must have done something really terrible as a kid to be suffering such a fair bit now. Maybe I gave people a lot of pain. lol I dont know man, have I hurt you? If I have, you must tell me okay. And i'll try to unhurt you. :l
I kinda knew that nicky wouldn't be falling over himself to thank me for finishing his ontraalto score in one night. But it still felt quite bad when it happened. Probably cos of other things that happened yesterday. Like the Bb tone deterioration reminder by caspar the
ever neh ghost. Which I think I really needed. Too caught up with band camp preparation and everything, almost forgot about this problem.
Pam can make it okay.
Lord, pls give me strength.generousity has more to it that what it actually means
its not about money
but rather giving in until it hurts.
