Saturday, February 18, 2006 @10:31 PM
i return from my 3 month hiatus with unpolished vocabulary, a foamy perspective and a brain that has shrunk dramatically in size.
and this is precisely the reason why for the last one megaquallion entries i have been trying so earnestly to put it through to all you loyal, undying, and non existent readers that study puts meaning in your lives. don't you realise that we all have been encased in this educational deception that studying is as customary a practice in our lives as a routine visit to the toilet? let us look a microscopic nanometer beyond the tip of our noses today, and review what we have been trained to believe about the current meaning of our lives.
hmm?
we live to study, we study to work, we work to retire, and we retire to die.
and we study for a gargoylic span of almost 20 years, which amounts to approximately one fourth of our lives, not considering the possibility that we might accidentally trip and fall off the face of the earth from time to time due to unforseen circumstances such as a viral disease or chemical explosions or falling asteroids..
so during this entire agonizing period of 20 years, the immaculate rate of absorption of knowledge is inversely proportional to the magnitude of time (and energy) spent on understanding (and evaluating) the rationale behind the need for this relentless pursuit of knowledge.
simply put, we study so periliously that we barely have time to look back and question, why am i so mad over study? so now, our subconsciousness take over our opinions that concern the stress incurred from this period of derilious study.
some suddenly decide to study for study's sake. mournfully they stare at their books, and eventually they sit down and swallow everything, only to throw everything back up at the exam hall, leaving the hall with enough space in their brains to temporarily swallow the next bulk of knowledge required for the subsequent exam. it's a viscious cycle they face. eat, throw up, eat, throw up... until they finally graduate from university and find work, where they'll continue to chew up (their colleuges) and spit them out (in their quest to rise within their company's hierarchy). these seemingly bulimic people are better known as The Pelican Men.
some others inadvertently get attached to studying. they have it easier than The Pelican Men. see, the first quarter of their lives only consist of two main activities:
1. studying
2. feeling sad that they're not studying
i will not elaborate on the latter subset, as enough elaboration has been constructed from the day i started to exist.
i'm currently in the transitional 2nd activity, engaging act of feeling sad that i'm not studying.
so i am here today to set down resolutions that will be instrumental towards my survival of the following two study years of my life. academics are apparently not intense in sajc, but i'm aspiring to instigate intensity within my circle of Intense Study Pursuers.
hey, i'm serious okay. i'm going to read the news/money section of The Straits Times everyday, confine myself to the library between breaks to explore the breathtaking world of textbooks and redspot collection, and devote my saturdays towards formulating study techniques for the newly introduced subjects such as economics and gp.
yeah man.
i am not going to be swayed by the lackadaisical waves of relaxation, or dampened by the blankets of sluggishness. i am going to dig a deeper foundation from where i left off last year, and resurface the drive for excellence that i have unfortunately misplaced during the three month long vacation that i have wrongfully indulged in.
i will not screw my a's! IWNSMAs! (:
-
i'm drifting. i'm working on living my life as a living testimony for Him.
but sometimes i do some things that make me feel so bad.
in the morning i pray He'll guide me; use me and draw me near in his will.
and during the day i just sit back and watch people bitch.
each time i walk past morning worship, it gets easier.
but when i reflect, i want so bad for God to be proud of a child like me.
then i remember these things and realise, i'll never be worthy of His love no matter how good i am. still, i'll try. and i will be proud of myself someday.
keep your chin up, girl. and remember to clean that window after you smear your face on it.
